Sigh....

I'm about 1/2 way through my course now. It just seems so long. =( Can't even remember how i got here in the first place. bah... Anyway, i'm scared of the trial exercises at the end of the course. sigh... it seems that about 6 of us have gotten permenant MCs or are downgrading already. That leaves jsut a handful of us left to deploy everything during the exercise.....not a very pleasant thought when you're one of the stayers.
Next week will be the prac exam for us. Well, good thing is that its gonna be the first and the last for us while on the course. =D Bad thing is.... 75% to pass, 5 marks off + 1X confinement if you commit a safety breach. (Mind you, they're easy to make......made 2 consecutive breaches on the same thing during my practice before..) bah... Hope i'll be able to clear this as easily as i did for my theory. (btw, i scored 85.5% for the 2nd test! ha!)
Anyway, think i'm feeling depressed again. I no longer cook regularly, chat with my friends on msn, org outings, buy presents or even send cards to my friends anymore. I think something somewhere inside me just wants to sit back patiently and wait till i truly start to enjoy my life in unit before doing things that bring smiles to others. i dunno.... I guess i just want to bring a smile to my own face too. And i want to do it at a time where it will stay, not disappear everytime i go back to camp. sigh.... come to think of it, i don't seem to understand myself that well, do i? =/