Friday, August 26, 2005


Well... most of Prelims is over already and i prolly won't get good grades again. =( Been slacking for too long, studying too haphazardly... Anyawy, did the best that i could in my current state and ha! Hope i can pass...
Was severely depressed today when i realised that i had not been awarded Honours for my core CCA. I know it doesn't really fact, i told myself not to bother even pestering my teacher for a nomination because i felt that i ran the club so badly. But then, i couldn't help feeling that i should've at least gotten something... Worse were figments of insidious thoughts about my friends running through my mind as i went home. I like... felt that i was such a useless leader and my friends were saying that i did a good job when i actually performed badly and the whole world seemed so hypocritical. I went to the extent to thinking friends as enemies, flattering me into complacency to reap rewards of lesser competition in the CCA. (God, forgive me) I know that i was thinking bad...but somehow, i couldn't help feeling the fangs of jealousy and betrayal sink into my very soul. =( I really felt that no one treasured or valued what i did anymore or rather, that what i did was of any worth at all. To mask it all up, I came to a really far-fetched idea of me hanging around people who i deem lesser than myself in order to give myself a false sense of superiority. I really don't even think this way! but somehow the thought just surfaced. *sob* Fortunately my depression didn't last long due to Sergeoh & Daryl who brought smiles to me today. Still can't forget how Sergeoh actually remembered that i collect 5 cent coins and brought his $2 worth of them to trade with me today. Thanks! I guess i'll just forget about Honours and achievements and all...Life is really mroe than these!! Life is more like.....being a blessing to others.
2 more papers of prelims left. Both MCQ!! yay!! this weekend is going to be a MCQ marathon! bwahaha!! gonna practice my As to Ds... Oh...nearly forget, Thanks JonK, for praying with me today, for being such a friend and for lending me that Harmonica holder thingy. (I still think you got scammed for that) Well..God Bless my humble bloggy readers.... *winks* (i know who you are...) =p


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